Weekly Confessions

I ate too many DONUTS!!
I have complained way too much.
I cried thinking about my TV interview.
I can not stop dreaming the most random things (including the babies looking like ET).
Thought about Ryann every single day.
Got really emotional thinking about all my pregnant friends.
....and all my friends trying to get pregnant.
Was really proud of Reggan's behavior this week (thinking I may have the most perfect child after all :)).
Thought about how lucky I am to have so many GREAT friends and family.
Can not wait to have an adult only dinner this weekend with my hubby and friends.
....thought about the actual dinner A LOT!!
Felt guilty about not really wanting to be pregnant anymore.
....then thought about how I can change that feeling.
Thought about CDH and other birth defects a lot!
Watched way too much TV.
....and sat in the recliner a little too much.
Should have put in more than 40 hours this week, but just could not do it!!
I am so glad it is Friday and get to go stuff my face with deserts at my Mom's!!

The last month....

Well, over the last month and a half this family had it's highs and lows.  On December 27th, we celebrated the birth of Ryann one year ago!!  It is hard to believe that beautiful little girl that has had such an impact on our lives arrived one year ago, it seems like yesterday.  We had family over for lunch and released balloons to her for her very special birthday.  We also relived her death on 1/5 and her funeral on 1/9 which was VERY hard, but she helped us push through.  I write to her in a gratitude journal to remind myslef although my baby girl is not here with me, I still have so much to be thankful for.  On this day my journal read "Reflect upon your present blessings, of which everyone has many; not on your past misfortunes of which people have some." - Charles Dickens.  How appropriate for this time.  I think about her everyday, but more these days I think about what she has done and what we are doing in her honor and how special that is instead of the aweful events that led up to her death.

At the end of January we had another miracle come into our lives, Kane William Knudsen...our second nephew, this family is full of girls, so yeah for another boy.  I swear this must be the year of babies, so many people we know are due to have or have had babies this year and we love watching this miracle occur over and over again.

On our baby front, I am officially 28 weeks along and the babies are growing like weeds.  Baby Boy is 2lbs 3oz and Baby Girl is 2lbs 6oz.  They are measuring right where a singleton baby should measuring, so we hope they keep it up.  I am measuring large (38 weeks) and I hope I have enough stretch in me to get them to a healthy weight and at least 37 weeks.  Praying for NO NICU babies!!!!  I am feeling pretty good, just having a rough time sleeping and do not really feel like leaving the house and doing much.

We are also planning away on the golf outing, Rounds4Ryann coming up in May.  We are working on hole sponsors and collecting auction items and trying to wrap everything up for the "big day".  Check in at http://ryannhopefoundation.com/ for what is going on and what you can do to help.

The Smith Family